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They say when there is no Hiccups you don't live. DEAD..indeed and I'm talking about myself. My life if I start analyzing its pretty perfect...Job, family, friends, happy. Just the very picture I used to draw which was incomplete..its not complete now..its perfect. Now whats more??? what else left out??? where else I have to go further???? I know I missed love..though I feel it wont be necessary to fill that crater..that crater gave enough pain and now left permanently open..its never gonna fill again..Atleast not in my lifetime. The promise I made myself I will keep.."You'll be the last whether you stay or you leave". I'm tired to give others chance to love me..n I'm tired of myself. Now I believe in straight line graph..like a corpse..
No more I can bear the hiccups of emotions..which ran high when I felt love when I'm hurt..its like a sinusoidal curve..I'm tired to see these beauty of curvy path..Actually its not beauty its like more older I grow less risk taking I become..I can't take the risk of curves,I can't take the risk of being hurt again..trying my protective shell..dwelling there life is easy..So I want it to be.
The Mechanical ME!!! waking every morning working strictly on the tick of clock..That's me..Can't take the risk of being late...
Where's the girl???..lazy, stupid, crushing on guys, loved to live...lived her life..
Yes!! she is dead..lay silent beneath the Unmarked grave..final peace she got..cold shabby yet rest peacefully under.
The robotic new twin wanders around with a business smile..They molded me..is it???
NO I got molded as it's time to be...everything is timestamped.
~Smita
Foundation, mascara, compac, liner putting all together..yes I'm pretty. Underneath lies my UGLY face. Ugly face I come across when the glam goes off. Deeds bang back which I'm not proud of comes on my ugly face. Times when I made you cry..you saw my ugly face. Words hurt hard, tears rolled that's why I have a ugly face. The face I hide from the world. When the make-up is gone lies the skeleton of truth revealing my ugly face.. Were I'm ugly from the beginning?
Innocent was my face, glimmered my eyes, smile as tender as grass I walked in my own utopia. And there awaited a dark knight ready to engulf me and leave me a scar..Made me Ugly.. dreadful.
Time forgets it all..I wore my veil so long. .How it was without that..Can I forget that???
Pages of history turned back shown me It's not me...I'm just a doll with NO-Strings attached ..It only might seem..But if the strings are followed takes you to a rotten, withered past still alive to tether me, burn me in my own sins...Sins of past, cries unheard made me Beautiful today..The grave I cut for myself , the moments shattered will never be same...The mask I wear ..The lights fall on me show me I'm pretty..
Pretty...Yes! I'm pretty..
~Smita
